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menopause mindset mastery

Menopause Mindset Mastery- 3 positive changes

Menopause Mindset Mastery – 3 positive changes

Menopause Mindset Mastery is incredibly helpful as you approach menopause and for many different reasons.

During my weekly shopping trip to the supermarket the other day, I overheard a conversation between two middle aged women that went like this: – “well I may as well eat whatever I want, I’m in menopause so it’s all downhill from here”.  To which the friend replied “oh yes, totally agree, I’ve gained so much weight, must be the hormones”.  Oh dear, a true example of a very negative menopause mindset!

Choices

I couldn’t help but take a little sneak peak into their shopping trolleys. No surprise there; crisps, chocolate, cakes, biscuits, boxed cereals, processed food, a few bottles of wine, and a lonely looking piece of broccoli.

Positive Mindset

 

menopause mindset mastery

Later in the day I had a Skype session with one of the Flourish Beyond 40 Programme participants who happily told me that she had dropped one dress size and never felt hungry!  She was happy, exuberant, and excited about life.  A great example of menopause mindset mastery.

I’m not saying that you won’t gain weight during menopause, or that your body won’t be extra efficient at converting excess calories into fat.  Unfortunately most of it landing it straight onto your tummy, otherwise knows as the  “menopot”.

We all know that menopause can be an extremely challenging time for many women, and not so challenging for others.  What is evident that a positive menopause mindset will likely improve your overall health and wellbeing in a big way.

menopause mindset mastery

When your  menopause mindset is focused in the right direction, you are far more likely to get the results you want.  As a result, you are more inclined to make healthier lifestyle choices to navigate this phase with more ease and comfort.

Are you a pessimist or an optimist?

Take a moment and think about these questions: are you an optimist or a pessimist?  Do you always find the negative in situations and people rather than the positive?

Are you focusing your attention on everything you don’t want rather than what you do?  Instead of thinking:

  • I don’t want to be fat and frumpy after menopause

Why not choose to think:

  • I choose to be fit, healthy, happy and well in menopause and beyond

Age is Lifestyle Not a Number

I get it ladies, I really do.  I too am travelling the menopause journey with you.  However, I know that the right  mindset works.

3 Steps to Menopause Mindset Mastery

menopause mindset mastery

How you too can develop a Menopause Mindset Mastery

  1. First of all, start to be aware of the stories you are telling yourself.  What are you choosing to believe about the menopause?  Beliefs such as “it’s all downhill from here”, “there is nothing to look forward to now”, “my partner will no longer find me attractive”, are all incredibly emotionally damaging.

How many times do you hear yourself speaking unkindly to yourself when you look in the mirror?  Would you talk to your best friend that way?  It may be time for you to show as much compassion to yourself as you do for others.

Life Expectancy

Do you know that the average life expectancy for a woman now is 86!  So ladies, how are you going to choose to live the rest of your life? If you are 50 now, then that’s more than 30 years.  What does your mindset say now?

No you don’t have to dress frumpily

No you don’t have to wear your hair short

No you don’t have to apologize for speaking your mind

No you don’t have to feel invisible

No you don’t need to stop taking care of yourself

No you don’t have to stop wearing make up

 

menopause mindset mastery

Why not take some time this week and write down the beliefs you currently hold and believe about yourself that are not necessarily helpful or useful to you?  Ask yourself why you are choosing to hold them?  This is the first step towards developing menopause mindset mastery.

Once you have this written down in front of you, decide what you want to choose to believe instead.  Embrace beliefs such as “I am wiser and have lots of juicy life experience to deal with life”, “I am in charge of my lifestyle choices”, “midlife can be totally liberating an empowering”.

The thing is, all of the above are actually true.  Think about all that you have achieved in your life so far.  In fact, why not write down all of your achievements and read it, acknowledge, accept it and celebrate all of those achievements no matter how small!

Maybe there have been times in your life where you discovered how much inner strength you have.  Knowing this is incredibly empowering.

Ladies you are not going downhill.  Quite the opposite in fact.  You are entering a new, exciting, liberating phase of your life.  Yes, your body may not behave as it did in your 20s, but you can work with what you have to be the best version of you possible. Of course you can’t keep the unhealthy choices and lifestyle you led in your 20s, because your body will let you know immediately.

menopause mindset mastery

You are entering a time of freedom from monthly periods.  A time where you may find that you have more time on your hands when children have left home.  A time where you can now focus on your wants, needs, and desires.  Time to take care of you!  How exciting is that?

Affirmations

  1. Write some great positive affirmations to help you develop new positive beliefs. Affirmations are a great way to change thoughts, feelings and behaviors.  Make sure you repeat your affirmations several times a day and that they are worded correctly. This is another great step towards menopause mindset mastery.

Affirmations also need to be realistic, believable, and achievable.  There is no point stating an affirmation such as “I will lose 10 kilos a week”.  This is highly unlikely and your mind will throw it out and dismiss it completely.  You could say “it is easy for me to let go of 1 to 2 pounds a week”.  Take some time this week to write some great powerful affirmations to create the changes you want.

  1. Have you thought about how grateful you are to your body for allowing you to be able to move, exercise and live? A great exercise is to write a letter to your body such as; Dear body, I am grateful that I am able to hear, see, move, feel …… (fill in the blanks).

Creating Change

Are you taking care of the inside as much as the outside?  How is your nutrition? Could you make any improvements? Are you exercising regularly? If not, why not?  Are you surrounding yourself with people that lift you up and inspire you?  Life is way too precious to be with negative draining people.

Reflect on these questions deeply ladies.  The answers will bring you the solutions you are seeking.

So there is no time like the present to create change, so why not start today?   Make a commitment to yourself to make the rest of your life, the best of your life.

If you have enjoyed this blog you may enjoy the Emotional Wellness blog, the Healthy Eating Blog and many others over at Flourish Beyond 40.

Have a wonderful day!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Midlife

Midlife Women – 5 healthy habits

Midlife Women – 5 healthy habits to implement straight away

Midlife can be challenging.  There are so many changes that take place internally and externally at midlife that may knock you off balance.  Some women manage to sail through the transition of midlife without so much as breaking a sweat.  While others suffer miserably.  How can this be?

Invisibility

Women report that they start to feel invisible as the glow of youthfulness begins to fade and the march of time begins to let itself be known both on the face and the body.

Aging

Skin aging and laxity are common and for some women this is really depressing. Their once pert breasts, and firm buttocks may have travelled a little further South, a speedier process especially when they have not been exercising.

Isolation

Midlife

 

This may also be a time when children marry or leave home for University and the house may become eerily silent.  This can leave a big gap and empty space in a woman’s life particularly if she has not kept up any outside interests or hobbies. This can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness.

Getting older is guaranteed for everyone and unfortunately there are no eternal youth elixirs available to keep you looking young forever.

Cosmetic Surgery

Cosmetic surgery can keep some tell tales signs of aging at bay, but does not address the internal aging process, and not everyone has the finances to fund the constant upkeep that cosmetic enhancements require.

Mindset

Our mindset, lifestyle choices and the actions we take have a huge impact on our overall wellness and how we feel in midlife.

Here are 5 habits that you may wish to implement into your life so that midlife doesn’t knock you off balance or catch you off guard.

Be prepared, be committed, be motivated.  Health is priceless but needs an investment of your time, energy and the correct life choices.

5 Habits of happy Midlife Women

Happy midlife women follow these principles:

 

1.

 Healthy eating habits

healthy eating habits

Eliminate or reduce alcohol, smoking, sugar, processed foods and junk food.  Alcohol and caffeine are stimulants which will exacerbate hormonal fluctuations.  If you are suffering from hot flushes, then spicy food may have to stay off the menu.  Drink plenty of water to flush the body of toxins and aid the digestive process.  Include flaxseed, chick peas, lentils, seeds, and plenty of vegetables into your diet, along with sauerkraut, natural live yogurt, aloe vera juice and apple cider vinegar.

2.

Managing stress levels

stress

High levels of stress may also affect weight in a very negative way due to the effects of cortisol.  If you are feeling highly stressed make sure you find a way to manage it through relaxation techniques such as meditation, mindfulness, self hypnosis, yoga or similar.  Discover what your stress triggers and find a way to reduce or eliminate them.  Holistic therapies such as reflexology, massage, Reiki may also promote stress relief and a sense of inner peace.

Make sure you have good quality sleep

sleep

During the day our hormones are busy and are used up.  In sleep we are rejuvenating and the endocrine system produces new hormones. Make sure that your room is completely dark and that you sleep around 10pm. Have a bedtime routine and that you have exercised during the day.  Avoid coffee, tea and alcohol before bedtime.  Switch off all electronic gadgets at least two hours before bed.

3.

Emotional Wellness

Hormonal fluctuations can affect your moods and cause you to feel irritated, annoyed and angry.  You may feel out of control on some days, but it doesn’t have to be this way.  Hypnotherapy is a great technique to work with the mind, journaling, and listening and responding to your own needs is also helpful.  This is a great time to reconnect with all of the things you used to love doing but are no longer doing so.  Make time to do what you enjoy.

4.

Supercharge your confidence

Now is the time to work on yourself and to do all that makes you feel self confident.  Making sure that you are doing what is necessary for you to feel happy with your self image.  Working on your personal development, dressing well and perhaps doing some inner work.  An image makeover can work wonders too.   Working with a hypnotherapist or coach may help you with self confidence issues.

5.

Exercise

exercise

It is never too late to start exercising. There are so many ways to exercise that you are spoilt for choice.  Make sure you choose something that you enjoy as you much more likely to stay motivated and continue.  If you don’t enjoy the gym, why not work out at home, or outside?  Do you love dance?  Why not try Zumba or another form of dance such as Salsa, Ceroc or Ballroom?

The important thing is to get moving.  Your body is not designed to sit still and be sedentary.  Even something as simple as walking for 20 minutes each day is better than doing nothing at all.  Exercise releases the feel good hormones endorphins which will help keep your moods uplifted.

Choices

We all have access to 24 hours a day, and a personal choice on on how we choose to spend our free time.

All of the habits above can be easily implemented into a busy lifestyle, and are so beneficial to overall wellness.  There is no time like the present, why not start today?

Why not pop over to the website and download your complimentary shopping list and exercise planner to help you on your journey to wellness.

We have some great programmes to help you through midlife and beyond.

Have a happy, healthy day!

 

Isobel McArthur

Founder of Flourish Beyond 40 Online Women’s Wellness Programme

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bereavement and Dealing With Loss

“Real loss is only possible when you love something more than you love yourself” – Robin Williams

The one thing in life that we are all guaranteed to experience is loss and bereavement. Many people associate loss with death; however loss can be defined as anything that is no longer in your life that causes you significant emotional discomfort and pain.  Therefore loss can be related to:

  • Loss of health
  • Loss of youth (the aging process)
  • Partner/friends/family
  • Loss of job or lifestyle
  • Loss of security
  • Loss of confidence or self esteem
  • Loss of pets
  • Loss independence
  • Loss of choices
  • Loss of a future you had planned
  • Loss of purpose in life
  • Finances

And I am sure you would be able to add to this list.

Dealing with loss

We are Taught to Acquire, but not How to Cope with Loss and Bereavement

It is interesting that at School we are taught to “get”; get a good education, get a good job, get a partner, get a nice house, car, children, clothes and so the list continues.  As a society we are taught many things, but one thing is absent from the school curriculum: how do we deal with loss when it arrives in our life?  What do you do with the overwhelming feelings of sadness, bereavement, and the ensuing emotional rollercoaster of emotions?

According to the Grief Recovery Institute, 8 million people become new grievers each year. The divorce rate exceeds 45% not including those who are not married.  That is a lot of loss and bereavement.

People seek out Counsellors, to help which is good, but what if you knew how to manage the emotions of loss as it arrived in your life?  What if you had the tools that you needed to feel better?

We have all known loss and will continue to know loss on the journey of life.  Each individual processes their losses in a different and unique way.   There is a tendency to feel so uncomfortable with loss that it is pushed under the carpet and covered up with an “I am fine” attitude.  However this is not useful or helpful as those emotions will arise at some point in the future when you least expect it to happen.

bereavement feeling sad

So What Can You do When you Experience Loss in Your Life?

Well how long is a piece of string?  Here are some tips to help you deal with loss and also to help others:

Don’t say the following:

Don’t cry

Crying is good and allows you to release

 

Don’t feel bad    

How?

 

He she is in a better place  

Is this true? How do you know?

 

There are plenty more partners

But you wanted the one you lost

 

You have to be strong for….   

How? When you are in deep pain

 

Keep yourself busy    

Is the same as brushing it under the carpet.

 

People do not know how to deal with loss as they have not been taught how to deal with it either.  Quite often they do not know what to say, when to say it, or if they should say it at all, and they are afraid of our tears, emotions and feelings.  In some cases it may trigger their own.  You may find people are reluctant to hear about your loss and will change the subject or worse still they are not hearing what a griever has to say.

A person in loss needs to be heard.  You may wish to say “I am sorry, what happened?”  Then listen without interrupting, without offering your own comparisons, without offering advice.  Be a heart with ears and hear what they are saying.

You may wish to offer your help in other ways by offering to babysit, cook dinner, and let them know you are there for them; help them with housework and invite them to events.  Don’t push them away or isolate them from your life.

Other people may say to you, “I know how you feel” but they don’t.  Your loss is unique and personal to you, and the only person that really knows how you are feeling is you.

A person in grief and sadness is likely to experience the following:

  • Reduced concentration
  • Feeling of numbness
  • Emotional rollercoaster
  • Eating habits may change to more or less
  • Disrupted sleep

Please seek out the help and support you need if you are dealing with loss. The Grief Recovery Programme is excellent.

If you have enjoyed this Blog and would like to know more, why not check out our Dealing with Loss Module to see how we can help and support you.

Have a wonderful day!

 

Isobel McArthur

Founder of Flourish Beyond 40

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Weight and Exercise in Mid-life and Beyond

Weight management and exercise is an issue for many women, not just those going through the menopause.  The feeling of frustration when the scales tip in the wrong direction can be very disheartening, particularly if you have been “good” with your diet and exercise regimen.  Unfortunately, in the middle years and beyond, the metabolism slows down and your body burns fewer calories than it once did.

exercise

 

“Those who think they have no time for bodily exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness” – Edward Stanley

For those of you in the menopausal years you may have found that you are gaining weight primarily in the tummy area, whereas pre-menopause you may have gained in the hips and thighs.  This is mainly due to oestrogen depletion, and beyond 50 there may be issues of insulin resistance which makes letting go of weight a challenge.

Many women find that by reducing the amount of carbohydrates they include into their diet helps them to stay in control of their weight.  After all, white bread, white rice, and white pasta have no real nutritional value, so why would you eat it when you can fill up on tasty natural vegetables?  This really is the time to clean up your diet.

Start by getting rid of the following:

  • Food additives
  • Processed foods
  • Boxed cereals
  • Sugar
  • Alcohol
  • Takeaways

exercise

 

Here are some tips to help you to let go of excess weight:

  • Don’t buy unhealthy food and bring it into the home; if it isn’t in the cupboard you cannot eat it
  • Eat mindfully and slowly, chew your food thoroughly and savour every bite
  • Put your knife and fork down between mouthfuls
  • Eat from a smaller plate
  • Hypnotherapy may also help you to stay on track

You are an adult. Stop being controlled by cakes, biscuits or sweets.

Do your best to eat your food in as natural state as possible.  Go organic as much as you can.  Eat little and often and keep your diet healthy, natural and clean.

The menopausal years do bring changes such as a slower metabolism, hormonal fluctuations, and disrupted sleep patterns, but the thyroid may also become more sluggish too.

Think of your body like a high performance car.  You would take care of it, put good fuel and oil into it to ensure optimum performance, and you would put it into the garage to fix it if something went wrong.  The same applies to your body.  If you do not put the correct food into your body, or take care of it, it is likely to fall into a state of disrepair as a result of neglect.

Respect your body, it has served you well to this point.  Maybe it has carried and fed your babies, and it deserves love, attention and care, through diet, exercise, and good lifestyle choices.

You already know that your body is going through changes during the midlife years.  How you deal with those is a significant factor in how your overall health and wellness will be.  Will you sit back and accept that this is happening and do nothing to help yourself?  Or are you willing to make a commitment to the management of your weight, fitness and wellness goals?

It is a true saying, “if you keep doing the same thing, you will continue to get the same results”.  Now is the time to really pay attention to your diet and what you are choosing to put into your mouth.  Now is the time to ensure you incorporate exercise into your life.  This can be as simple as a 20 minute walk every day, or attending exercise classes.

The key to staying motivated with exercise is to do something that you really enjoy and look forward to doing.  If you really dislike going to the gym and working out with other people, then why not exercise at home? Instead of sitting on the sofa watching a movie in the evening, why not buy a small trampoline and jump up and down a little while watching TV? Simple, effective, fun and easy on the joints.

There are so many exercise options available and keeping it varied will help to keep you motivated and on track:

  • Yoga
  • Zumba
  • Spinning
  • Swimming
  • Bootcamp

These are only five of the many different types of exercise that you could do.  Aim for four times per week and maybe walking each day.  Remember that exercise burns calories, speeds up the metabolism and gives you that feel-good endorphin rush.  You may wish to ask yourself why you are not exercising.

Exercise is not about making the time to exercise, it is about creating the time.  It is a tiny percentage of your day.

 

If you have enjoyed this Blog and would like to know more, why not head over to the Flourish Beyond 40 Services and Shop to see how we can help support you in your journey towards health and wellness. We even have a Weight Management & Excercise Module along with a range of other programmes.

Have a fun filled day!

 

Isobel McArthur

Founder of Flourish Beyond 40

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Midlife

Stress Management and Feeling More Relaxed

Stress is something that we all need to be aware of a feeling that is almost unavoidable. Life is so busy these days and for many high stress levels become a normal and natural feeling.

For many people a typical day begins with an unhealthy breakfast snatched quickly on the way to work.  Time spent trawling hundreds of emails or dealing with Social Media.  Add in to that mix responsibilities of home and family commitments and a long commute.  No wonder stress levels are high.

“The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it” – Sydney J. Harris

It is almost impossible to avoid stress impacting your life.  The most important thing we can do for ourselves is learning to recognise when those stress levels are rising and how to manage stress to live life in a more peaceful way.

There are so many tools and solutions available to help handle stress levels, and small steps may make a big difference as to how you feel, but it is not one-size-fits-all.  What works for one person does not necessarily work for all.  Why not start to implement  new stress management techniques each week, try it on for size, see how it feels, then try another.  You will know what works for you personally.

One of the best gifts to give yourself is to learn what your stress triggers are, and to deal with these effectively and well without allowing your stress levels to rise to dangerous health-damaging levels.

Here are some tips that you can apply immediately to your life:

  • Stop multitasking. Focus on doing what one thing at a time, and keep your mind focused solely on that. If you really need to multi-task then set out a specific time in your day to do so, perhaps for an hour and get it over and done with. Seung Sahn, a Korean Zen Master,told his students “when reading only read. When eating, only eat.  When thinking, only think.  Embracing mindfulness, staying present and living in the moment you are in is a great way to move you away from the ‘busyness’ of life.
  • Make a habit of writing things down. Quite often when your mind is “over full” it is easy to forget important things.  As you do this you no longer have to constantly worry about something you feel you may have forgotten.
  • If you are fond of writing to do lists, then keep them suitably short and realistic. Looking at a long list of things to complete increases stress which is exactly the opposite of what you are trying to achieve.
  • Prioritise what needs to be done immediately and what can be done at another time.
  • Organise yourself well. More often than not you will know what you will be doing the next day.  Make sure your clothes are ironed and ready to wear.  Have your breakfast dishes on the table. Leave everything you need out and ready just before leaving the house such as car keys, handbag, umbrella, scarf and gloves.  Have your shoes ready at the door.  A lot of stress is created in the morning as people rush around looking for things they cannot find.
  • Wake up fifteen minutes earlier so that you can take your time in a more peaceful way.
  • If you work from home it is important that you take small breaks throughout the day, particularly if you are working at your computer. A balance of 45 minutes work and 15 minutes away helps to keep your energy levels up and your mind clear.
  • Ensure that your work and rest time is balanced.
  • Engage and communicate properly with your loved ones in your time off. Listen to what they have to say, enjoy your time spent with them.  Completely disconnect from work. If you can, put your phone on silent when you are off work.  Be present with those that are important to you.  Spending time thinking about work while with loved ones is both unfair and unnecessary.
  • Delegate as much as you can whenever you can, so that you have more time to do the things that you love.
  • Keep your environment clutter free. Keep a Zen-like space to allow fresh energy to continue to flow, keeping your mind away from distractions.
  • Turn down the noise of Social Media. How many times do you find yourself checking the newsfeed on Facebook only to find that you are still on it half an hour later?  Are you caught up in being oversubscribed to podcasts, blogs newsletters, webinars and so on? This can be very stressful indeed.  Start to unsubscribe to anything that is no longer useful to you or your goals. Doing this frees up your time to spend doing things that have more value and enjoyment.
  • Stay tuned into your body. Be aware of aches, pains and uncomfortable niggles.  Stress also presents itself as physical symptoms.  Learn to recognize when you are starting to feel drained and tired before you become exhausted and fatigued.  Take time to take care of you and your needs.
  • It is okay to be perfectly imperfect. Does perfection really exist?  It is a different concept for everyone.  Do your best and move on. When you need help do not be afraid to ask for it.
  • Have someone you can trust to talk to. It is a true saying “a problem shared is a problem halved”.
  • Breathe properly. When people are stressed they have a tendency to shallow-breathe from the chest.  Take a few deep breaths from the belly, breathing in relaxation and breathing out stress.

 

Keep yourself on track by asking yourself the following key questions:

  1. Is what I am doing moving me towards my goals or away from them?
  2. For what purpose am I choosing to think/be/behave this way?
  3. What can I do right now that is more important?
  4. Will this really matter one year, five years, 10 years from now?

 

S.E.E. the three simple fundamentals of keeping stress at bay:

  • Sleep enough
  • Eat well
  • Exercise regularlyIMG_3197

If you have enjoyed reading this blog, why not download the free relaxation recording we have available on www.flourishbeyond40.com.

If you want to learn more about stress and some excellent strategies, techniques and solutions to help you in life, then why not download our Managing Stress Module, packed with wonderful helpful information to take you from where you are to where you want to be.

Have a fabulous stress free day!

 

Isobel McArthur

Founder of Flourish Beyond 40

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