Bereavement and Dealing With Loss

“Real loss is only possible when you love something more than you love yourself” – Robin Williams

The one thing in life that we are all guaranteed to experience is loss and bereavement. Many people associate loss with death; however loss can be defined as anything that is no longer in your life that causes you significant emotional discomfort and pain.  Therefore loss can be related to:

  • Loss of health
  • Loss of youth (the aging process)
  • Partner/friends/family
  • Loss of job or lifestyle
  • Loss of security
  • Loss of confidence or self esteem
  • Loss of pets
  • Loss independence
  • Loss of choices
  • Loss of a future you had planned
  • Loss of purpose in life
  • Finances

And I am sure you would be able to add to this list.

Dealing with loss

We are Taught to Acquire, but not How to Cope with Loss and Bereavement

It is interesting that at School we are taught to “get”; get a good education, get a good job, get a partner, get a nice house, car, children, clothes and so the list continues.  As a society we are taught many things, but one thing is absent from the school curriculum: how do we deal with loss when it arrives in our life?  What do you do with the overwhelming feelings of sadness, bereavement, and the ensuing emotional rollercoaster of emotions?

According to the Grief Recovery Institute, 8 million people become new grievers each year. The divorce rate exceeds 45% not including those who are not married.  That is a lot of loss and bereavement.

People seek out Counsellors, to help which is good, but what if you knew how to manage the emotions of loss as it arrived in your life?  What if you had the tools that you needed to feel better?

We have all known loss and will continue to know loss on the journey of life.  Each individual processes their losses in a different and unique way.   There is a tendency to feel so uncomfortable with loss that it is pushed under the carpet and covered up with an “I am fine” attitude.  However this is not useful or helpful as those emotions will arise at some point in the future when you least expect it to happen.

bereavement feeling sad

So What Can You do When you Experience Loss in Your Life?

Well how long is a piece of string?  Here are some tips to help you deal with loss and also to help others:

Don’t say the following:

Don’t cry

Crying is good and allows you to release

 

Don’t feel bad    

How?

 

He she is in a better place  

Is this true? How do you know?

 

There are plenty more partners

But you wanted the one you lost

 

You have to be strong for….   

How? When you are in deep pain

 

Keep yourself busy    

Is the same as brushing it under the carpet.

 

People do not know how to deal with loss as they have not been taught how to deal with it either.  Quite often they do not know what to say, when to say it, or if they should say it at all, and they are afraid of our tears, emotions and feelings.  In some cases it may trigger their own.  You may find people are reluctant to hear about your loss and will change the subject or worse still they are not hearing what a griever has to say.

A person in loss needs to be heard.  You may wish to say “I am sorry, what happened?”  Then listen without interrupting, without offering your own comparisons, without offering advice.  Be a heart with ears and hear what they are saying.

You may wish to offer your help in other ways by offering to babysit, cook dinner, and let them know you are there for them; help them with housework and invite them to events.  Don’t push them away or isolate them from your life.

Other people may say to you, “I know how you feel” but they don’t.  Your loss is unique and personal to you, and the only person that really knows how you are feeling is you.

A person in grief and sadness is likely to experience the following:

  • Reduced concentration
  • Feeling of numbness
  • Emotional rollercoaster
  • Eating habits may change to more or less
  • Disrupted sleep

Please seek out the help and support you need if you are dealing with loss. The Grief Recovery Programme is excellent.

If you have enjoyed this Blog and would like to know more, why not check out our Dealing with Loss Module to see how we can help and support you.

Have a wonderful day!

 

Isobel McArthur

Founder of Flourish Beyond 40

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Money, Finance and Wealthy Wisdom

Security is important to most women, whether that be financial security or emotional security; in some ways both are connected to each other.  Finance is important in so many ways.

“Money  gives you the freedom to do with your time what you want to do with it”

 – Richard Branson

We all know that there are some things that money cannot buy, such as health, love, and family. Some of the richest people in the world are unhappy.   However, some may argue that money does bring an element of freedom and choices that make life more comfortable and pleasurable.

With money you have the opportunity to do what you want to do with your time, travel where you want, have the adventures of your dreams, and perhaps have a better quality of life than the one that you currently have.  None of this is guaranteed to bring you happiness, as that is an inside job and something you create yourself. Healthy finance can be created with the correct mindset and actions.

“Wealth is the ability to fully experience life” – Henry David Thoreau

What is your Happiness Switch?

finance new car

Many people believe that happiness can be found in buying the latest car, a designer bag, shoes, a bigger house, or finding a new partner.  These things may bring short term pleasure, but true happiness does not rely on external objects or material possessions.  The creation of happiness deserves a blog all of its own.  For now, let’s get back to wealthy wisdom.

Finance and You

Do you feel there is too much month left at the end of your money?  You are not alone in this respect.  The marketing machine is strong and very tempting, and many people do fall into the trap of consumerism and the “must have more” mindset.

One of the worst things you can do is bury your head in the sand, not open your bills and continue spending. It is important to control your debt and spending habits.

stressed woman

 

Be open and honest with yourself about what you owe and devise a plan to pay it back.  The excellent website moneyadviceservice.org.uk is where you will find some excellent tips to get back on track to clearing debts.

Women and Finance

It is a known fact that statistically women live longer than men these days and as such they need to be able to provide for themselves in order to live a comfortable life.  It is unfortunate that women have to take breaks away from work to have and bring up children, and this causes dents in the financial budget.

Stay on top of your financial expenditure as much as you can. Be aware of where money is spent and how. Save a little each month and it soon adds up at the end of the year.

What is your Why?

wedding

To start to get your finances in order you need to have a good, strong “why”.  Your own personal “why” motivates you to make the necessary changes to your spending habits and keeps you on track with your financial goals.  There is a personal emotional charge behind your reasons why you want it.  Do you know your personal “why”?

What is it for you? 

  • To pay off your mortgage early
  • To have the wedding you want
  • To feel financially free to make the best choices for yourself and family
  • To travel and have the experiences and adventures you have dreamed of
  • To invest in yourself or your education

Adjust your Mindset to Create Better Finances

Your mindset is important in terms of the creation of more wealth for you. Be aware of “poverty consciousness” or the belief that you will always be poor, or you will never have enough.  It is very difficult to create a wealthy attitude and actions with these beliefs in your mind.

Start to examine your own mindset.  Make sure you know what you want, and believe fully that you deserve more than you have now.

Review your Financial Expenditure

Go over your finances thoroughly and budget to discover where you can make changes that will allow you to have more income to do the things you love.  Become aware of where you are spending your money, and keep a record of your daily expenditure.  You will be surprised at how much a daily coffee and pastry on your way to work adds up at the end of the month:

One coffee            1.80

One pastry            1.60

Total daily            3.40 per day at 5 days per week

Total per month    68 pounds per month (20 days) = 816.00 per year

This is an example of a very small change you could make to your expenditure.  If you start to replace your shop bought lunches with a lunch you make at home, you may save the same amount or more again 1,632 per year.

If you start to consider other areas where you may be spending unnecessarily you can make even more savings.

The above changes are not going to make you feel as if you are missing out on life.  In fact, you are likely to become healthier by choosing to not eat shop bought products and making your own (saving money in the process).

Coupons

Coupons are a great way to make savings.  Use them regularly and you can make some great savings.  Go to hotukdeals.com to find out more. You can also make great savings on Groupon.

Energy Providers

Makes sure you are getting the best value from your energy provider.  Check comparison sites such as moneysupermarket.com to see how much you may be able to save.  All you need is a recent bill that shows which tariff you are on at the moment.

Plan Ahead – Good Finance is Key

Although Christmas, anniversaries, and birthdays are happy times, they can also be stressful due to funds being tight at the time.  By putting away 10 pounds a week over 52 weeks, you will have over 500 pounds available at Christmas to spend.  If you can increase that a little you will also have more funds for other times of celebration.

Food Shop

Before shopping, make sure you really need what you are going to buy.  Plan your meals ahead of time and use everything up before buying more.

Increasing your Income

There are ways for you to increase your finance and income.  If you love creating arts and crafts, why not sell in Etsy online store.

Why not register to learn something you have always been interested in and loved then monetise it?  For example, if you enjoy technology and design, you may find you enjoy designing websites.

There are many women who are making extra income from cake decorating or baking.  If this is something you love to do then think how you can earn money from it.

income

If you are at home, have time on your hands and good office skills, you may want to try being a Virtual Assistant.

Online survey companies love to find out about their products and customer opinions and you get paid to share your own opinion; why not do a few of those in the evening?  The same applies to Market Research Companies in your area. You can register at gopodengo.com, and sarosresearch.com to find out more.

“If you want to become wealthy, you must have your money work for you”

– John D Rockefeller

The above are a few ways to create healthier finances. There are many other ways that involve:

  • Property
  • Investments and equity
  • Ecommerce
  • Books
  • Compounding

If you have enjoyed this Blog and would like to know more, why not check out our Wealthy Wisdom Module for more information?

You may also be interested in the Managing Stress in Midlife and Beyond Blog.

Have a healthy, wealthy day!

 

Isobel McArthur

Founder of Flourish Beyond 40

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Weight and Exercise in Mid-life and Beyond

Weight management and exercise is an issue for many women, not just those going through the menopause.  The feeling of frustration when the scales tip in the wrong direction can be very disheartening, particularly if you have been “good” with your diet and exercise regimen.  Unfortunately, in the middle years and beyond, the metabolism slows down and your body burns fewer calories than it once did.

exercise

 

“Those who think they have no time for bodily exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness” – Edward Stanley

For those of you in the menopausal years you may have found that you are gaining weight primarily in the tummy area, whereas pre-menopause you may have gained in the hips and thighs.  This is mainly due to oestrogen depletion, and beyond 50 there may be issues of insulin resistance which makes letting go of weight a challenge.

Many women find that by reducing the amount of carbohydrates they include into their diet helps them to stay in control of their weight.  After all, white bread, white rice, and white pasta have no real nutritional value, so why would you eat it when you can fill up on tasty natural vegetables?  This really is the time to clean up your diet.

Start by getting rid of the following:

  • Food additives
  • Processed foods
  • Boxed cereals
  • Sugar
  • Alcohol
  • Takeaways

exercise

 

Here are some tips to help you to let go of excess weight:

  • Don’t buy unhealthy food and bring it into the home; if it isn’t in the cupboard you cannot eat it
  • Eat mindfully and slowly, chew your food thoroughly and savour every bite
  • Put your knife and fork down between mouthfuls
  • Eat from a smaller plate
  • Hypnotherapy may also help you to stay on track

You are an adult. Stop being controlled by cakes, biscuits or sweets.

Do your best to eat your food in as natural state as possible.  Go organic as much as you can.  Eat little and often and keep your diet healthy, natural and clean.

The menopausal years do bring changes such as a slower metabolism, hormonal fluctuations, and disrupted sleep patterns, but the thyroid may also become more sluggish too.

Think of your body like a high performance car.  You would take care of it, put good fuel and oil into it to ensure optimum performance, and you would put it into the garage to fix it if something went wrong.  The same applies to your body.  If you do not put the correct food into your body, or take care of it, it is likely to fall into a state of disrepair as a result of neglect.

Respect your body, it has served you well to this point.  Maybe it has carried and fed your babies, and it deserves love, attention and care, through diet, exercise, and good lifestyle choices.

You already know that your body is going through changes during the midlife years.  How you deal with those is a significant factor in how your overall health and wellness will be.  Will you sit back and accept that this is happening and do nothing to help yourself?  Or are you willing to make a commitment to the management of your weight, fitness and wellness goals?

It is a true saying, “if you keep doing the same thing, you will continue to get the same results”.  Now is the time to really pay attention to your diet and what you are choosing to put into your mouth.  Now is the time to ensure you incorporate exercise into your life.  This can be as simple as a 20 minute walk every day, or attending exercise classes.

The key to staying motivated with exercise is to do something that you really enjoy and look forward to doing.  If you really dislike going to the gym and working out with other people, then why not exercise at home? Instead of sitting on the sofa watching a movie in the evening, why not buy a small trampoline and jump up and down a little while watching TV? Simple, effective, fun and easy on the joints.

There are so many exercise options available and keeping it varied will help to keep you motivated and on track:

  • Yoga
  • Zumba
  • Spinning
  • Swimming
  • Bootcamp

These are only five of the many different types of exercise that you could do.  Aim for four times per week and maybe walking each day.  Remember that exercise burns calories, speeds up the metabolism and gives you that feel-good endorphin rush.  You may wish to ask yourself why you are not exercising.

Exercise is not about making the time to exercise, it is about creating the time.  It is a tiny percentage of your day.

 

If you have enjoyed this Blog and would like to know more, why not head over to the Flourish Beyond 40 Services and Shop to see how we can help support you in your journey towards health and wellness. We even have a Weight Management & Excercise Module along with a range of other programmes.

Have a fun filled day!

 

Isobel McArthur

Founder of Flourish Beyond 40

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Sexuality and Relationships in Midlife and Beyond

Sexuality and relationships in mid-life, menopause and beyond brings many changes on all levels, physically, mentally, and emotionally.  Sex and sexuality can be a subject that tends to be avoided during this phase for many reasons. One of those  is “programming”.  In many cases society and media portray menopause as being the beginning of the end, especially in terms of an active sex life. This is not true.  I know many women of advanced years who are enjoying an incredibly satisfying sex life.

Sexuality

It would be ignorant to believe that our body and hormones do not change during the third phase of life.  After all, we are ending our time as potential mothers and, effectively, our egg supply is running out.  Hormones are declining and our bodies are changing.  Does this mean the end of our orgasms and pleasure? Absolutely not!

“I think the quality of sexiness comes from within.  It is something that is in you or it isn’t and it really doesn’t have much to do with breasts or thighs or the pout of your lips” – Sophia Loren

Many would agree that night sweats, hot flushes and insomnia do play a role in sexual appetite – or lack of it as may be the case.  For many women suffering from these symptoms there may be sleep deprivation which is no fun for anyone.

So what can you do in mid-life in terms of your sex life?  A great place to start is by building open and honest communication between you and your partner.  Make sure they are listening and understanding what you are experiencing.  They may have no knowledge whatsoever of how to keep a sex life alive during the third phase of your life.  Some partners feel they need to “back off,” and resentment and lack of intimacy becomes an issue.  These emotions create feelings of rejection, guilt and sadness. It is interesting to note that Oprah.com states that nearly 50 per cent of menopausal women confess to experiencing these emotional aspects of the menopause in addition to the physical ones.

There are so many myths regarding menopause that we can only scratch the surface here.

These are some of the myths that I have heard from my personal clients:

  • My vagina will shrivel up and sex will be excruciatingly painful
  • I am no longer attractive to my partner
  • It’s the beginning of the end
  • I have peaked, it is all downhill from here
  • There is no point in trying any more, my body is going to rack and ruin

Sexuality and Satisfaction

It is interesting to note that when a woman, no matter what age, enters into a new relationship, in many cases sex is very satisfying.  I have heard this even from women in their 60s and 70s!  According to research published in the American Journal of Medicine, women’s sexual satisfaction tends to increase with age.

Sexy at 40

Mid-life women tend to know what they want and what they don’t want, and are quite happy to ask for it. Hilda Hutcherson, M.D. Clinical Professor of Obstetrics and Gynaecology at Columbia University Medical Centre and author of Pleasure: A woman’s Guide to Getting the Sex You Want, Need and Deserve, states, “In our 50s we are more likely to focus on our pleasure than in our 20s, when we tend to focus almost exclusively on his experience”.

Your sexuality does not need to diminish or end because you are getting older.  It may be that you need to make a few changes to your health, attitude and lifestyle, but the benefits are worth it, I am sure you agree.

Your health impacts the way you feel about yourself.  If you do not like your own body, then your partner will pick up on that too.  Feeling sexy and being sexy is an attitude whatever age you are.  If you are following an unhealthy lifestyle and eating a nutrient deficient diet, your libido and sex life is likely to suffer as a result.

Your Orgasm is Important

Your orgasm is important!! Your pleasure is as important as theirs. Sexuality is erotic. If your partner is not gifted in bringing you to orgasm, then teach them how.  Faking your orgasms is not helpful for either of you.

Incorporating exercise into your day is important for many reasons.  If you work at building and maintaining muscle tone you may enjoy your body more in terms of fitness flexibility, movement, look and feel and may even enhance your sexuality and the way you feel about yourself.

Giving up smoking, and stopping or reducing alcohol intake is also very helpful in promoting good health.  At this time of your life you need to be on top of your health.  Make sure you are checked for diabetes, high blood pressure or any other existing medical conditions.  Taking responsibility for your health and wellness is paramount and quite often enhances your libido.

Yes, you may find that you may need a little extra help in terms of lubrication.  There is less blood flow to those areas due to less oestrogen.  There are many excellent lubricants you can try, and have fun doing so.  Your Doctor may also be very helpful in prescribing a vaginal cream for you.

If you are feeling fatigued and tired, then communicate this to your partner so they do not feel rejected.  It is possible to maintain intimacy and affection without intercourse.  Why not allow your imagination to create loving scenarios.  An erotic massage with no expectations may lead to something else…

You may want to have your hormones checked, as these affect your potential for arousal (estradiol E2 declining).  Some women report improvements in libido by using a little progesterone cream.  There is so much help out there for you during this time in your life, please do not feel alone or isolated.  There are many women going through exactly the same as you.  Seek out the information, help and support you need.

It is also worthy of mention that if both you and your partner have no issues whatsoever about not having a sex life, yet every other aspect of your relationship is good, there is nothing wrong with that either.  Like many things, it is all about personal choices and preferences.

If you have enjoyed this Blog on Sexuality, please feel free to browse at the Sexuality & Relationships Module and Programmes available in our shop.

Have an orgasmic day!

 

Isobel McArthur

Founder of Flourish Beyond 40

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Friendship

Image Makeover

“A strong positive self-image is the best possible preparation for success”

– Joyce Brothers

It is interesting to note that sometimes, when women decide to change their image, they sometimes bounce against resistance from loved ones.  This can come from the fact that they are loved by family, friends and partners just as they are.  However, the most important thing is how they feel about themselves.  It is better to make changes that you want and that you are comfortable making, rather than to make them to please someone else.

Image Makeover

As a woman approaches midlife and beyond it is quite common for her to feel a little confused and lost regarding a sense of style that meets who she is at the age that she is.  The styles that were popular a few years ago may not be looking as chic now as they once did.

I know in my own case that I found I could no longer get away with wearing certain fabrics well, and that the type of fabric cut and colour made a huge difference as to how I looked and felt in my clothes. My daughter has benefited from this significantly, and does most of her shopping from my past wardrobe mistakes!

There is no need to start wearing twin sets and pearls, or frumpy clothes just because you have moved into middle age.  Women have more stylish choices and options than ever before; and it is possible to look classy, elegant, stylish and sexy all at the same time and do it well.

Some would say that there are “rules” to follow when you are a certain age in terms of the clothes you choose to wear, or how you wear your hair.  There are many women who still wear long hair beautifully, and many women who wear short spiky hairstyles really well too.

How do you feel when you see a middle aged women dressed similarly to her teenage daughter, perhaps in a midriff bra top and mini skirt skimming her bottom?  The image that you project out to the world is a reflection of your personality.  What is it that you are portraying in your choice of clothing?  How do you perceive yourself?

In these years of great change, it may be necessary to have a makeover with a makeup consultant.  Your skin changes with age and so does your skin tone.  Wearing the same colours and style as you wore in your twenties is not going to enhance your looks at all.

It may be necessary for you to invest in an image consultant who will work with you and your wardrobe to show you the best ways of highlighting your best features and downplaying those you are not particularly happy with.

Maybe you have found a hair style that you really want to try.

The bottom line is that when you feel good about yourself it shows in your confidence and the way you walk, talk and communicate with others.

Maybe it is time for to assess your own self-image at this time in your life and to start to implement changes that lift your confidence levels.

A few years ago I went to an Image Consultant who “did my colours”.  I was stunned at what a difference this made to my own confidence levels.  Certain colours can make you look fresh and energised, whilst others can be very draining. It also makes shopping very easy as you know which colours to look for and which to avoid.  The same applies to style.  A good personal shopper will lead you towards clothes that will look great on you.

“Investing in yourself is the best investment you will ever make, it will not only improve your life, it will improve the lives of all those around you”– Robin Sharma

Even your underwear choices may come under some scrutiny in the middle years and beyond.  You may find that you veer towards underwear that is not so visible under your clothes and smooths out any bumps, rather than having visible panty lines.  It is all a matter of personal choice and preference.

shopping

Cosmetic surgery is big business these days and more women are opting to go down this path at a certain age.  I have seen some excellent work done on ladies and I have also seen horrendous work.  If this an option that you are considering, please make sure you thoroughly research your chosen cosmetic surgeon or Doctor.  Ensure that they have plenty of experience in the procedure that you want to have and make sure that you are realistic about the results that you expect. Cosmetic surgery does not solve your personal problems in any way, and in many cases does not help relationships as some may think.  Ask yourself if you want these changes for you or to please someone else.

If you have enjoyed this Image Makeover Blog and would like to know more, why not head over to the Flourish Beyond 40 shop and peruse our programmes that may help you, or purchase the Image Makeover Module.

Have a wonderful day.

 

Isobel McArthur

Founder of Flourish Beyond 40

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Supercharge Your Confidence

“Confidence is courage at ease” – Daniel Maher

There is no doubt that confidence may occasionally take a dip as a woman reaches mid-life and beyond.  Changes are taking place on many levels, physically, mentally and emotionally, and it is a time for adjustment.  Many women feel that their self-esteem is not as high as it was and for many this can be a time of uncertainty and insecurity.

Confidence

Many of my clients mention that they no longer like looking in the mirror and seeing the march of time appearing on their faces.  Or to watch and witness changes within their body.

One of the most common statements that I hear is a feeling of loss.  As a woman leaves the child bearing years behind and finally says goodbye to having more children, this can cause feelings of loss and sadness.

However, the mid-life years and beyond are also a wonderful time to shake up your life a little and get back on track doing the things you used to love doing before children or responsibilities of home, family or work took priority.

This time in your life is all about more:

  • Freedom
  • Time to do what makes you happy
  • Rediscovering your hobbies and interests
  • Developing yourself
  • Taking care of yourself
  • Saying “yes” to yourself and “no” to others
  • Discernment about how you spend your time and who you spend it with

This time in your life is less to do with:

  • Caring what others think
  • Believing that you do not matter
  • Negative self-talk
  • Wasting time doing what you dislike
  • Self-criticism
  • Comparing yourself with others
  • People-pleasing
  • Focusing on your perceived flaws

It is an exciting time of change, possibility, and adventure!

What about that trip you have always wanted to go on?

What about the books you want to read?

What about the language you have always wanted to learn?

What about the course you wanted to attend?

Yes, you may feel that your house is quiet after children fly the nest to pastures new.  Some women report feeling “redundant” with no family to take care of any longer at home.  If you view this time as an amazing opportunity for you to start doing allthe things you have put off for so long and rebuilding a part of your life that fits who you are now.  How does that feel for you?

Self-confidence is tied to both the physical and emotional elements of who you are.  There are changes taking place on a physical and emotional level, such as hair changes, skin changes, hormone fluctuations, lack of libido in some cases, mood changes, forgetfulness, lack of energy, and insomnia for some.  It is no wonder that your confidence levels are lower than usual if you are finding it difficult to relate to the person looking back at you in the mirror.

We have some amazing role models for midlife and beyond:

  • Helen Mirren
  • Susan Sarandon
  • Diane Keaton
  • Meryl Streep
  • Halle Berry

And many more. Some say that 40 is the new 30!

There are so many ways to boost confidence levels.  From the best in skin care regimens and products, to very discreet cosmetic surgery that is not obvious. Fabulous choices of exercise, or even machines that report doing it for you!

One of the best things to work with first and foremost is your mindset. Aging is an inevitable part of life, unavoidable and guaranteed.  The way you handle it and deal with it is entirely your choice.

Instead of focusing on perceived flaws, why not focus on all of the parts that you do like and accentuate those.

Are you comparing yourself with models in the media or in films?  Remember that there is a lot of airbrushing and retouching that goes on in photographs and movies.  The picture you see may not necessarily be true.

It is sad that for some women it all becomes too much and they “give up” on themselves and cease to care about their self-care or in taking care of their health needs.  Ladies: you are worth it; you are beautiful in your own unique and special way.

pedicure

When was the last time you had a manicure or pedicure?

When was the last time you bought lovely matching underwear?

Are your legs and armpits smooth today?

Are you removing facial hair or leaving it a few days late?

When did you last visit the dentist?

When was the last time you restyled your hair?

The answers to these questions may nudge you into making some changes that may lift your confidence levels and encourage you to take more care of yourself.

On a scale of 1 being very little and 10 being highly confident, which number are you?

Here are 10 tips to help move you towards better confidence today:

  1. Stand tall, be aware of your posture and slouching
  2. Stay on top of your personal grooming
  3. Schedule your grooming appointments months in advance
  4. List your achievements in life and acknowledge them
  5. Accept compliments with a sincere thank you
  6. Be aware of your own negative self-talk and self-criticism and stop
  7. Start to say “yes” to what you do want and “no” to what you don’t
  8. Know your weaknesses and resolve to become more competent in those areas
  9. Set small goals and achieve them, then begin to set bigger ones
  10. Choose not sit in your problem. Find solutions and support

If you have enjoyed this Blog and would like to learn more about how the Flourish Beyond 40 Programme or Supercharge Your Confidence Module can help you, just head over to the shop and peruse the many options available for you.

Have a wonderful day.

 

Isobel McArthur

Founder of Flourish Beyond 40

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Holistic Approaches To Wellness

Holistic approaches to wellness are becoming more popular to help promote  overall wellness and vitality.  Hopefully you may  achieve better balance of the mind, body and, for some, the spirit.  The term ‘holistic’ generally means that a person is treated as whole rather than one part. There is a great quote used by Gestalt “the whole is more than the sum of parts”.

“The natural healing force in each one of us is the greatest force in getting well” – Hippocrates

Holistic Practitioners believe that if one part of the mind or body is out of balance then other parts are affected too. They also believe that we have our own innate healing ability to support the healing process.

A holistic approach to health is not a new concept and has been around for a long time. There are so many wonderful therapies and approaches available that you are spoilt for choice.

In his book The Republic, written in 380BC, Plato wrote the following:

“The cure of the part should not be attempted without treatment of the whole.  No attempt should be made to cure the body without the soul, and therefore if the head and the body are to be healthy, you must begin by curing the mind.  That is the first thing.  Let no one persuade you to cure the head until he has first given you his soul to be cured.  For this is the great error of our day in the treatment of the human body, that physicians first separate the soul from the body”

It is no surprise that these beliefs are held in many countries across the world.  Chinese people believe in a life-force, or a flow of energy, known as Chi.  They believe that when these flows of energy throughout the body become disrupted or blocked in some way, the body will fall out of balance and disease will manifest itself somewhere.  There are several different words to describe this life force energy and it is also referred to as Prana, but they are all fundamentally the same.

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A holistic approach to feeling balanced and well is not embraced by everyone, yet there are many that enjoy the benefits of such treatments.  Perhaps we can consider the “placebo” approach in that if a person feels that it is helping them and it causes no harm, then why not?

There are so many different modalities to choose from that you may feel confused as to where to begin.  Why not try as many as you can, giving time in-between so you can measure how you are feeling or benefiting.  Eventually you are likely to become fond of one particular therapy over another.

Holistic Therapies

My clients particularly enjoy the following:

Each of the above has its own merits and benefits and you may find that you enjoy Reiki to promote peace and calm in your life, and hypnotherapy to help you move away from unhealthy habits.  Do what feels right for you.

Ultimately, taking responsibility for staying fit, healthy and well is a wonderful gift you can give to yourself.  Adding on the elements of a holistic approach may be something else you consider to support your wellness goals.

The above is not a substitute for medical advice, and you are strongly encouraged to see your GP for health conditions that concern you.  A holistic approach to wellness may compliment your wellness but does not replace medical advice.

If you have enjoyed this Blog and would like to know more, why not head over to the Flourish Beyond 40 Shop and check out the Holistic Approach to Wellness Module to see how we can help support you in your journey towards health and wellness.

Have a healthy day!

 

Isobel McArthur

Founder of Flourish Beyond 40

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